Life Lessons From Tetris

I've been spending too much time on Tnet 2 nowadays so...I decided to make this post


1.) Don't spend forever waiting for the right piece

2.) Downstack, don't overstack (balance the two)

3.) Don't create impossible/unlikely situations

4.) Understand what can and can't be fixed

The Age of Innocence

Yes, another book review.

The Age of Innocence is novel written by Edith Warden, the author of the infamous Ethan Frome novel which I read in high school. I wasn't too thrilled by Ethan Frome - the setting and the characters were rather bleak and hard to relate to. However, The Age of Innocence was honestly FAR superior. Being a much longer novel, the characters had much more time to develop, the relationships had more chemistry to them, and as it was set high-society New York the setting was far more interesting and captivating than a depressing farm in Starkfield. At a glance, the novel was highly emotional and romantic in a depressing way. It basically echoes the main theme of Ethan Frome - two lover's trying to be together despite the unfortunate circumstances, but in a much more believable in engaging way. The only downside was the fact that it seemed to be TOO descriptive sometime...and all the names/families got confusing at times.

The novel centers Newland Archer a well respected bachelor in the upper class of New York back in the Victorian Era. It opens as he attends an Opera where he is to see the women he is soon to be engaged to - Miss May Welland. The Welland's and the Archer's are both respectable families in New York, and as such, their prospective marriage is accepted by the community. May Welland is the typical and perfect by-product of New York society - polite, kind, innocence and one who doesn't question the way things are or think critically about life. Newland Archer on the other hand is more adventurous and realizes how dull and conformed New York society really is - he often is more interested in reading novels, or being interested in European art and just expanding his horizons. In a similar way, he wishes that he can open May's "eyes" to being more aware of the world around her, and not so caught up in acting a certain way or being too "innocent" so to speak.


So...as the book opens, Newland sees May at the Opera. To his dismay, May's Cousin, Ellen Olenska, has come from Europe to stay with May. This is a highly risky move as Ellen has just seperated from his husband in Europe and there are a variety of nasty rumors about the nature of their relationship. Furthermore, Ellen is not used to the strict way the New York society operates - as she had been raised in the much more "relaxed and open-minded" European society. Newland is initially afraid that Ellen will "disgrace" the Welland's name because of her European ways and ruin his marriage. Because of this, Ellen's family entrusts him with the job of making sure that Ellen fits into New York society will, and so that his marriage will not be affected in anyway. Eventually, Archer begins to spend more time with Ellen and realizes how interesting she is after he has been surrounded by the same dull people in New York for so long. She has no problem with expressing her opinions unlike May who has been trained to act a certain way all her life. By this point in the novel, it's obvious to see that they are both in love. Against his own interests, Archer eventually convinces Ellen NOT to divorce her husband in Europe (even though she wants her "Freedom") because a divorce would seem pretty scandalous to New York Society and would bring shame upon her (and his potential) family. This is very ironic as Archer pretty much destroys the only way he can be with her, but its in her/society's best interests - but now he can never marry her. Even though they confess their love for each other at the end of Part I, Archer eventually has no choice but to marry May whom he has fallen out of love with by this point in the novel.


In part 2, Archer and May have their wedding and he doesn't talk to Ellen for about a year or so. Eventually, he reconnects with her by a coincidence and from that point on she's all he can think about again. They have a brief affair, but Archer and Ellen both realize that affairs like this never last in the type of society at the time - they are merely for fun and eventually all end. Archer realizes that his affair is no different from all the other shallow ones which he has seen in New York society and he notices that people are even beginning to suspect things. With nothing really left for her in America, Ellen decides to return to Europe (but not back to her husband) as an independent women, while Archer is left to stay in a life that he desperately hates. At this point in the novel, it is not really clear why Ellen chooses to leave so suddenly. Yet near the VERY end, May finally reveals to Archer that she told May she was pregnant with their child. It is thought at this point that May has no knowledge of their affair - Ellen is simply her cousin and someone whom she is close with so she decides to share this obviously exciting news. Little does May know, that this news causes Ellen to leave and forces Archer to stop chasing after her - he realizes that he is not only bounded by May and society anymore - but by the prospect of having children and starting a family as well. So Ellen leaves to go to Europe and Archer/May are left in America.

The novel then flashes forward 25 years. Archer and May have had several children, but May sadly died of pneumonia and Archer is left alone. He has become a well-respected member of society, but New York has changed. New York society is not as fussy anymore about things like divorce of remarriages. The novel ends when Archer's oldest son takes him to visit Ellen again in Europe - twenty five years later. Archer's oldest son then reveals that May knew about Archer's affair all along, but May knew Archer would always be there to take care of his children even after she died because he "gave up the thing he wanted most" when she asked him to. This line is terribly ironic of course because May and Archer never actually had a real conversation about this affair so she never really "asked" him to at all. He just did. Getting back to the story, just as they are outside their apartment, Archer realizes he does not want to go in. All he has had for twenty five years is the happy memory of Ellen, and he realizes that that is enough for him. The novel ends with him turning away from her apartment and walking sadly back to his hotel.


Apart from the huge theme of society in this novel and the usual idea of conformity and what not, the theme that's most worth talking about is the whole notion of innocence and facades. Throughout the novel, May is believed to be the perfect innocent wife that a man in the Victorian New York society would want - one who is unaware of the dark affair that her husband is having despite his OBVIOUS hints to her that something is wrong. However, May is brought up in a society where people avoid scandals and arguments at all costs - so she never makes mention of it. Archer had always been saddened by the fact that May never could express her opinions and was so indoctrinated by New York society and one of his goals in marrying her was trying to "open her eyes" to the real world. Eventually, even in the end of the novel when Archer's son reveals that May knew all along what he gave up, Archer realizes that he is happy that she was not ignorant the whole time. He said that he felt as if an "iron band" had been lifted from his heart, because she was not as innocent as he once thought.

So...that's about it. I definitely enjoyed the book - it had the kind of sad and realistic undertone that I love. However, I did not like the movie because it was just not the right kind of novel for a movie adaption. It's a novel that focuses on telling the characters thoughts through the narrative, rather than actual dialogue. This makes sense as the whole theme of the novel is how people cover up what is ugly with mere innocence, and there are few truly "exciting" conversations or action-packed moments. It's more about what's unsaid and subtle visual cues. As such, it is hard for all this emotion to be conveyed through dialogue which was meant to be watered-down at points...and you didn't feel connected with the characters that much through the movie.

Well, I guess that's it. Summer is coming to an end soon, and university is so close...I guess all that's left to do is enjoy these last carefree moments of a life I can never return to again.

I was as hollow and empty as the spaces between stars.

"I was as hollow and empty as the spaces between stars."

So today, I finished reading The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler. After Fitzgerald's elaborate descriptions in the previous novel I read, I was quite happy to try a classic hard-boiled detective novel that was written in a very straightforward manner . The Long Goodbye was a pretty great novel with an interesting protagonist, an engaging plot, some great one-liners by Marlowe and an insightful critique on society.

The main protagonist in this novel, as in all of Chandler novel's, is the enigmatic private-eye Phillip Marlowe. Phillip Marlowe is your classic "tough guy", but he still is usually the only honorable character in the plot littered with corrupt individuals - he remains faithful to his client and does not accept much money even for his services. He does not understand why he does the job he does except that he feels a deep, unexplainable need to unveil the mysteries in such a corrupt town.

The plot begins with Marlowe befriending a drunken man known as Terry Lennox. Marlowe eventually helps Lennox escape to Mexico after his wife turns up dead and he is blamed for the murder. Lennox is allegedly killed in Mexico and the case is supposedly closed. However, later on Marlowe takes a case for a drunken writer and realizes that his wife was actually in love with Lennox all this time. At the end, its discovered that Lennox is still alive and has just changed his apperance through cosmetic surgery. The real culprit was the wife of the alcoholic whom Marlowe was hired to help and she eventually ends up confessing and committing suicide at the novel's close - because she wishes to "remain beautiful."

Of course, I've left out many important details and a lot of suspense that was present in the novel. What I liked most about this novel however, was that the plot was supplemented by some really intriguing themes. These include the corrupt lifestyle and dark secrets of the high society people which Marlowe is always called into help. Marlowe realizes how unhappy they are despite all the money that they have. Furthermore, a HUGE theme in this novel is the concept of goodbye, which I think is pretty apt as I leave go to off to university soon. In the novel, Marlowe realizes that a goodbye may be "long" but it always unique. Even when Marlowe meets his friend Terry Lennox again, at the end of the novel he realizes that he doesn't even like him anymore - he has changed or at least the circumstances have. Marlowe realizes that saying goodbye is something final and irrevocable. Even when Eileen Wade meets her long lost love (Terry Lennox) after waiting for him for so long she realizes that he is not the man he once was - this drives her to insanity and ultimately culminates in her murder of Syliva Lennox and her suicide at the end of the novel.

In a way, I feel like I can relate to this idea of goodbye. Everyone in my memory has only existed for the time I have known them and when I say goodbye to them at the end of the summer I'll be saying goodbye to all I've ever known of them. It will be painful but even when I meet them again it won't matter - I've already said my farewell to the person that was in my life at the time. For this same reason, Marlowe chooses not to marry Linda Loring even though he has sex with her (interestingly the only female Marlowe EVER has sex with in any Chandler novel) - he realizes that saying goodbye will allow him to remain happy as he is, even if he loses a piece of himself. Marlowe also reminds me of myself as he does not really understand why he so apathetic sometimes and yet why he cares so much about helping the unscrupulous upper echelon of society...perhaps its only for a sense of completion.


Anyway, here are some quotes I liked from the novel. I would rate it an 8.5/10 as it was tedious at some parts where nothing was really happening.


There is no trap as deadly as the trap you set for yourself.

Marlowe talking about what it would be like to not drink alcohol anymore:

"Usually it does. It's a different world. You have to get use to a paler set of colors, a quiet lot of sounds. You have to allow for relapses. All the people you used to know well will get to be just a little strange. You won't even like most of them, and they won't like you too well."

"To say goodbye is to die a little"

"I was as hollow and empty as the spaces between stars."

"You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you."

"We make the finest packages in the world, Mr Marlowe. The stuff inside is mostly junk."

"Your husband is a guy who can take a long hard look at himself and see what is there," says Marlowe to Eileen. "Most people go through life using up half their energy trying to protect a dignity they never had" (153)

"Alcohol is like love," he said "The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off."

“From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 10 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.”

“Common sense always speaks too late. Common sense is the guy who tells you ought to have had your brakes relined last week before you smashed a front end this week. Common sense is the Monday morning quarterback who could have won the ball game if he had been on the team. But he never is. He's high up in the stands with a flask on his hip. Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it's always somebody else's money he's adding up.”

The law isn't justice. It's a very imperfect mechanism. If you press exactly the right buttons and are also lucky, justice may show up in the answer. A mechanism is all the law was ever intended to be.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

This Side of Paradise

"I know myself," he cried, "but that is all."

-This Side of Paradise 

So today I finished reading F. Scott Fitzgerald's first novel - This Side of Paradise. I have to admit that at first I was really looking forward to this novel - Gatsby is probably one of my favourite books ever, and since it was by the same author I had high expectations for it.

So - did it live up to them? I certainly didn't like it as much as Gatsby, it was hard to understand at parts, but yet some parts were so well-written and philosophical that it made up for over-descriptive parts that I really couldn't understand at all. But there were so many beautiful quotes and dialogues between characters. I could also relate to the main character in a variety of ways.

In the most general terms, the novel tells the story of Amory Blaine, and is basically the same type of a novel as Catcher in the Rye - one about self discovery, finding one self's and learning about how society really is. It reminded me of the Bell Jar in a way too as Amory constantly is defying societal norms and what's expected of him. So...for a quick plot summary:

Amory Blaine starts off as an egotistic boy in high school. He has the idea that he is already quite successful, and can go onto do anything that he wants. His ego is only inflated by the fact that he gets into Princeton University where he is able associate with the rich/snobby upper class kids. At first, he aspires to be like those kids in Princeton and tries very hard to be conform and accepted. In fact, he tries so hard that he realizes he loses the "fundamental Amory"/who he really is and the whole novel is basically a quest for him to find out who he really is.

During this time at Princeton, Amory realizes that he can't conform because it ultimately has no meaning. This because apparent when one of his friends dies in a car accident on the way back from a party. This "friend" was someone very successful and popular whom Amory looked up to. However, as Sparknotes states:

"This seems to signal to Amory that he must live his own life and not try to become something else, since everybody ends up as an unattractive, dead mass at some point. Dick's death drives Amory sharply back toward the "fundamental Amory." "


So the first half of the novel is basically all about Amory's time at Princeton and a few failed romances that he has. After realizing that there is no point in conforming Amory eventually gets lazy and stops trying in school. As a result, he fails a geometry exam and is almost kicked out of Princeton. He eventually decides to forgo getting his degree as he feels Princeton has nothing left to offer him and leaves to fight in World War I.

Up until this point, all his relationships fail because women cannot hold his interest for longer than a couple of days. The second half of novel (after WWI) opens with Amory truly falling in love with a girl known as Rosalind. As irony would have it, Rosalind is just as egotistical as Amory and he truly falls in love with a women for the first time. However, because Amory decided to give up his education he has little money and Rosalind refuses to marry a poor man because she comes from a wealthy family (in fact, she is the sister of one of his bff's at Princeton). This causes her to break up with Amory and sends him into a state of chaos. He turns to alcohol as a refuge, loses his job. In fact, Amory's romance with Rosalind is probably my favourite point of the novel as its really beautiful and....pretty tragic as well. Its interesting to note the idea of social class plays a big role here - just like how Gatsby couldn't marry Daisy at first because he was poor. Its a common theme throughout all of Fitzgerald's novels, I'm starting to notice....

Eventually, Amory has another love affair with a women known as Isabelle during the summer, but he realizes he can never truly love someone again after Rosalind had left him. However, she's a complete psycho and decides to kill herself. In addition, Amory's mentor dies around this time and he hears the news that Rosalind is finally getting married to a far richer man. Penniless and heartbroken Amory decides to return to Princeton for one final reflection on his life, as that's basically where it all started.

Back at Princeton, Amory realizes that his character is inherently selfish. He realizes that his selfish-ness is what motivates his actions and will drive him along. He accepts the fact that had to lose both his education/wealth/romance in order to realize this. But this realization of himself is what he has been searching for all along, and is the point of the novel. He has finally found the fundamental Amory and no longer has to pretend to be a romantic/scholar or anything else he isn't. He does not regret losing his youth but simply wishes that he could experience losing it again. And so the novel ends with Amory's final, supposedly happy, words outside the towers of Princeton:

"I know myself," he cried, "but that is all."

So...my thoughts on the novel. As I said before, it was hard to understand at times. But I really liked it...Amory is a character to whom I can really to in his ambition and his romantic ideals. There are moments of sheer brilliance - like when Amory falls in love with Rosalind and when he first arrives in Princeton. The ending, of course, is bittersweet. It's ironic that all Amory's relationships/romances and his education were simply catalysts to making him understand his own character. But there are a lot more philosophical themes in the novel that I didn't discuss that include things like poverty, sexist and just how every character is very unique in their own way. It just goes to show that though the boys at Princeton are all putting up this facade, when Amory actually gets to know them they are all unique.

Overall, I just really enjoyed this novel and I felt it was the right time to read it as I too am leaving for university and getting a little more education when it comes to discovering myself. I would rate it 8/10. In comparison, Gatsby is a 9.5/10.

Tender is the Night

"You never know just how much space you occupy in other people's lives"

- Tender is the Night


So, first of all, the book I was reading for my ISU is Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I think I kind of regret taking so long to read this book - I think spreading out my reading so much made me lose interest in it for a while. The book is divided up into three parts - book I, book II, and book III. The first thing I noticed when reading this book was Fitzgerald's powerful writing style - his uses very "big" (what a crappy adjective) words and shapes them into elaborate sentences. However, his words definetly have a beauty to them. This is not always good, however, because sometimes its hard to find the point of the sentence or what he's really trying to say when its marred by such poetic sentences. But yet, there is a real sense of beauty to his writing - as me and Z both agreed on, even if it does tend to distract you from the plot.

When I first starting reading I didn't think the first "part" was anything spectacular - until the end, where the plot finally started to pick up. That's not to say it was boring - but it just seemed somewhat typical of a plot line. However, I had no clue where it was going to go next. So then I moved onto the second part. The beginning of the second part was pretty interesting (however the book doesn't go in chronological order...which was kinda weird) as it revealed a lot about the back story of the characters and how they...fell in love. Another thing I liked about Fitzgerald was how he can describe like being in love really nicely - even taking a paragraph to explain how these two people made out or had sex. But its not vulgar or anything...its just significant. You just have to really go "wow" and read some of his sentences again.

The last part was when it really started to pick up though. If you have the patience to get there, I think its well worth it. By this time you know about how all the main characters are and what they've been doing. In fact, even the end of the second part is very interesting and sad...as many important events start to occur. But yeah, the final part was really interesting to me. Not only was it depressing as hell it made me really reflect on like...all the themes of the novel and what everything meant.

So lets talk about what I can relate this book to. Its obviously related to Gatsby as it has MANY of the same themes. In fact, its almost a more...elaborate/darker/more realistic version of Gatsby. Gatsby was very short and sweet to read...this book requires patience as it spends alot of time introducing and developing characters. Even though I kind of found it hard to keep track of all the characters and names...but that's a problem I always have. But it definitely has the themes of like...social status and people hiding behind their "money" (like Tom and Daisy) and the whole upper class society being corrupt. I think its also similar to Cuckoo's Nest and even Bell Jar (Desda!) as it deals with metal disorders and mental institutions and all that stuff.

In fact, one of the things I really loved about this book was how much it DID have in it. Sometimes when a book has too many themes, it seems like not of them are well done or thoroughly explored. But in this book, Fitzgergald did an excellent job of really incorporating all these themes into one novel. So...what is the plot, really? I think to put it briefly: high class society, mental institutions, relationships, deteriorating marriages, and affairs. It's definitely a romance novel - but a dark one that really makes you think about what it means to care about someone. But a very important theme of the book is based around how like...in order for one person in a relationship/situation to get better, the other person must get worse. Which is kinda sad, but could be true.

One of the main themes in the novel I liked was about balance in a relationship. It basically throws the idea out there that in order for one partner in a relationship to get better (in this case, quite literally) the other one has to get worse. It also explores themes like what it really means to fall in love for the moment, and what its like when you know you're not in love with a person anymore. But it also explores obligations, affairs, and freedom in a relationship kinda sense too. I don't know...there's just really so much to talk about. I also liked how the ending wasn't as crazy as Gatsby - no one gets shot in their pool and there's no huge car crash at the end. Instead...its just very sombre. Its what you knew was going to happen all along, but when it does happen you end up just thinking...."wow isn't that sad and realistic?" "Was that really the right choice?". You can't help feeling simultaneously happy, sad and contemplative. And I just really liked the book because in the main relationship throughout the novel can be related to so many situations that we all have in life - staying in a relationship because you care and want to help someone, what do you do when you know there's nothing between you two anymore, what happens when you find you're interested in someone else. I know I'm really focusing on the relationship part but there's a lot of other themes too - freedom, whats wrong in society eyes or not, the importance of money and status etc etc. Its definitely a novel that made me think though. And I like that. Though the only thing I disliked was that there were some parts were it got kind of bland for about 20 pages or so.

Desda was talking a while ago about what makes things "literature". I would definetly say that this book is - its one of those books that really made me reflect and think back on the message that it sent out. Even if it was a depressing one, it was very realistically and poetically delivered. I really love how the characters truly changed through the course of the novel - and at the end, you can't really be sure if you're happy or sad with how things have changed in their lives. I think that this is really similar to real life - there's not really a definitive feeling of like happiness or sadness when a major change in a relationship occurs - there's just this shade of gray in between them both. And you aren't sure whether things are better or worse when its over but you know you have to move on because it was coming to that all along. I'll say it again - this book really makes you question what it means to care about someone, what being "needed" in a relationship means and what...having freedom and being your own person means in the context of a relationship.

I think the last positive influence the book has had on me was that it made me actually want to read literature again. I just spent like 20 mins making a list of books I want to try reading. Maybe I"ll get around to it...one day....