Structure

You might not know it from reading this blog, but I'm a pretty laid back person. In my free time (ie. not at school or work), I don't usually have a plan about what I'm going to do. Or on the weekend, if I don't have any work, I don't really plan how I'll spend it. Sure, I have some vague ideas but I don't like being restricted by a schedule or a specific time.

Basically, while I believe every society and every person's life needs some of structure to function I think that nowadays people try to implement TOO much structure in their lives - especially in their so called "free" time. This leads to people being unhappy overall since they always have this kind of "schedule" they need to follow in the back of their mind. What does it matter if you're 10 mins late to meet a friend or don't get to watch your favourite tv show right on time - if you're already happy in the moment. I think society in general forces too much structure on people. The education system for example - students aren't allowed to discover and pursue conclusions for themselves but rather are expected to memorize equations and do repetitive "drill" exercises. This ruins the entire beauty of learning - but I'll try to elaborate on how I would improve education specifically in another post.

This post was really motivated by a random "personality" quiz a friend made me take. One of the questions which was phrased something like "deadlines seem more of a relative, rather than absolute importance to you" definitely stood out. That's is EXACTLY how I feel about so many things in life and it's unfortunate because people who I truly am close with like my dad and sister seem to be so caught up with doing things on time. They are slaves to this inherent belief that you if you do things in a specific order or way you'll feel happier - but I think its the complete opposite.

Now don't get me wrong - I agree that we all need deadlines for things like school and work or else nothing would ever get done. But at the same time, I feel like deadlines are so fabricated. Most of the time, you don't know how long a project will take before you really get started. And besides, in an "ideal" world people would work as hard as they possibly could because they truly care. I think really being interested in a project is much more important than deadlines.

And, I really do believe most deadlines are relative. I'm often late for class by 5 or 10 minutes in the morning just cause I know it doesn't really matter if I'm there at 8:30 or 8:40. I can still understand and absorb information - so why should I rush and stress out in the morning about getting to school on time? Life is far too short to worry about being on time for every little thing and I feel I see so many people who just burdened by this need to always be on time or always have things planned out.

However, society just can't be laid back and everyone can't just do things at their own pace. Sometimes, things do need to have a very specific indication of when they will happen - like the time a bus or plane leaves or when you should show up a job interview (though that's mostly for equiette reasons). The reason I don't mind being "late" is not because I don't care but I just simply think, in a lot of instances, time isn't worth worrying about.

Now I accept the fact that, to some degree, being punctual is essential to succeed in school and life. But what about on your own free time or at a social event with friends? In these cases, I feel its best to not worry about time but just go with the flow. Planning too much of having too much of a structure just seems to ruin everything. Like, for example, I could never see myself really planning a trip a year or a few months in advance since well - how do I know if I'd still even feel like going then? I'd rather just plan a trip a week ahead of time. Most people think are so clever and organized planning stuff in advance but I think they are foolish - life is about being happy at the present not trying to plan for some thing you "believe" will make you happy in the future. I only know how I feel now, at this very moment, and human emotions are very suspect to change. For example, there are times when I want to hangout with friends and other times where I just want to sit at home and read a book. Why should I plan ahead weeks in advance to hangout with friends just to not feel like it at the time?

Now, I guess that sounds kind of selfish. But, at the end of the day, the only person we need to TRULY need to live with is ourselves. Being punctual a should be left for school/work/paying bills. Society is already structured enough as it is - I don't think its too much to ask to have a few days or moments when we can really not have to worry about planning.

Subway Story

If you read this blog, then you probably know my outlook on life can be rather cynical sometimes. I believe that there are certain things that inately come with society - such as discrimnation and stereotypes. Heck, maybe they are even consequences of us simply being human beings - our natural tendency to distrust and alienate those who are different than us for our own safety.

However, even though it happened a few weeks ago, today I was reminded of a very interesting scene on the subway that helped me remember that, as humans, we aren't all that bad. It was late at night and I was coming home from a friend's house on the subway. I was tired and like most people on the subway, was avoiding contact with everyone. I was standing by the door and overheard a conversation between a father and his son about black history month. The son was inquiring about why there was slavery and why black people were treated that way. The father seemed ashamed, when he explained to his son (only about 9 or 10) that "back then" people didn't see people as different colors as equals. Then the son said something that I won't forget, he simply said "well even if they look different, they could be the same as us inside". Now, I"m not one to really get sentimental over phony things but my heart did warm up for a moment there. It's one thing to hear a child say that on t.v. or the internet...but to hear a child say that in real life did give me hope about how people really thought.

It helped to remind me that human nature is also one of curiosity and that, as humans, we are all the same on some fundamental level. It helped to remind me that progress has been made and I think in society most people are treated more equally than before. While there will always be stereotypes and progress towards how society views different people in general is slow, it is progress nonetheless. And it helped remind me that maybe the norm is naturally being cynical or dis-trusting. Maybe people were just too scared to change anything or stand up for equality. Anyway, I just believe that as humans we should embrace our commonality to move our society forward.