I suppose there's nothing inherently special about the new year except for the fact that society deems that it is important. Some might say it's just a pointless delineation between the old and the new but I think it's valuable to have some sense of a new beginning even if it's artificial. It helps give us time to reflect on what's really happened in the past 365 days and chart out a course for the future. At least, that's what I hope to achieve in this post.
Overall, 2016 seemed like a year of transitions for me. In comparison, when I think back I realize that 2015 seemed a lot more stagnant - mostly just working, sort of learning new skills and meeting a few new people. But a lot of changes happened in 2016 - from moving away for a new job and forming a variety of (hopefully) genuine connections with new people I think that 2016 is probably the year with the most changes since I've graduated from university. It's also important to note not just in regards to traditional changes such as a new job or city but even with regards to new sexual and relationship experiences. I mention this only because it was such a change from 2015 and because they weren't all positive but I guess it also helped me learn more about myself, the kind of person I am (including things I am not proud of - such as all that happened or didn't happen with Y) and what I want to focus on.
But, I think all the changes in 2016 made it difficult for me to really focus and work on developing skills and pursuing other hobbies. The work and tasks required with moving to a new city and starting a new job and applying to grad school again kept me pretty busy for the second half of the year. In the first half of the year, it was mostly interviewing and other preparation for the move. Though I did have some really nice moments before I left Toronto in terms of social experiences. It was as if I was barely able to keep my head above water so I didn't really have time to think and reflect on what I personally wanted to do.
One of the most important insights I've gained from moving away is just how much of a bubble I was in with regards to my current group of "close" friends. There were really two types of people I was close with before - either old friends from high school who had the same type of upbringing as me or friends I met in Toronto who were fun to hangout with but not really ambitious at all or successful in any "traditional" sense. Moving to SF introduced me to a whole different kind of a culture where people (in general) were constantly motivated, thirsty for knowledge and often wondering about how they could really achieve success (such as by making a startup, writing a novel or working a programming project). Also, these people were probably even more "successful" (in the traditional sense) than most of my high school friends as they went to top tier schools and had internships at prestigious companies and what not. In turn, this motivated me as well to get back into pursuing my goals/new hobbies instead of just spending time on leisurely activities and that's definitely something I started doing near the end of 2016. Nonetheless, that's not to say I like the people in SF more - while they may be more motivating I find that they aren't as "fun" to hangout with probably because it just doesn't feel as carefree.
Continuing from the previous point, I just realize that I want to make an effort to surround myself with different people this year. The people that you are close with have a huge impact on how you live your life and I realize that most of my close friends right now aren't really ambitious or just seem very "traditional". They are either content with their somewhat mediocre lives (and only care about doing the bare minimum to get by) or are "successful" but only in shallow traditional types of ways such as by having a high-paying job, having a bf/gf which makes them appear to be "settling" (or of the same social class) or by going to graduate/professional school because they don't see any other path for themselves. To be fair, I think all of them are 'good' people or else I wouldn't be friends with them but for my own growth I think I need to start cutting back on some of these relationships and trying to open up room for new ones to grow. It might be a painful process and I'll probably even feel lonely but I think deep down I know it's necessary in some sense. I've always known that one of my major flaws is holding onto the past for too long even when it might no longer be relevant/optimal.
Even when I spent some time with old high school friends such as our cottage trip or even just being home over the holiday break it felt like something had changed (with most of them, anyway). It was just as if that feeling of comfort wasn't there anymore and if we were more like acquaintances. If that's the case then I guess it's only logical to spend less of my time on the people whom I believe I no longer connect with and instead focus on maintaining relationships with those who I still feel a genuine bond with.
In terms of skills, concretely, I want to focus more on learning more about Artificial Intelligence and finish writing the novel I've been working on. It sounds silly but I think it's fate that I randomly saw Z again in a cafe when I was back home as it helped remind me that I need to start writing again and finish what I started. We'll see how grad school works out too and that might also be a serious consideration for 2017.
In conclusion, if 2016 was a year of change then I want 2017 to be a year of drilling down and focusing on what I want. I'm optimistic that I'm in a setting/city with a lot of opportunities waiting to be explored so I don't want to be held back too much by the past and rather go ahead and pursue some new endeavors.
