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Now for a much more metaphysical and abstract blog post about a question that's been in the back of my mind for a long time. I’ve
spend a somewhat embarrassing amount of time wondering why the universe exists.
Why do conscious beings exist? Who created the universe ? What came before the
universe?
Of course, I realize that questions such as “who created the
universe, or what came before the universe” might have no meaning in the sense
that they are “outside” of time or just that boundary conditions don’t need to
be defined. I guess what I wanted to talk more about in the post is
that…there’s really no answer that would satisfy me. Even if the answer is
god/alien race created us or like we’re just a simulation experiment for some
alien race…would that change how I live my life? Would that change what anyone
does? We have freedom of thought (or so we think) and we’re conscious beings…we
seem to have the right to decide on our own purpose.
In some ways, I think this need for an answer just reveals
my own insecurities rather than just my own smug intellectual curiosity. I want
to be told what my/our collective purpose was so that I don’t need to seek it
out for myself. But there’s not really any answer that could ever satisfy me?
Let’s say, I found out we were a simulation created by some alien race. So
what? I still only know the confines in which I live/exist…I guess it’s weird
because maybe just the act of knowing such a thing (that we live in a
simulation) would require me to break out of this mould of thinking so it’s
impossible to say.
Anyway, it still begs the question of why would an alien
race exist at all? Which goes back to the ultimate question of why does
“anything” (ie. conscious beings) exist at all? Obviously, if we did not, then
no one would be answer to observe it and ask this question (anthropomorphic principle
or whatever). But maybe another satisfying answer is really that we aren’t
lucky/special and rather everything exists – all possible configurations
and most are just dead/empty universes (multiverse theory). It’s still weird
though…it’s like I need an answer for why existence exists. I’m sure there must
be an answer, even if it’s outside the scope of human understanding…but it’s
like the reason I want an answer is just to know how to live my life.
But it doesn’t matter. I need to live on my own terms and make the best of what
I have. But I’m still insanely curious…I hope I can find out once this life is
over but I’m pretty sure that’s just wishful thinking.
