It’s been a whirlwind past two weeks ever since I got back home. Once again, it felt like it was a bit too soon to leave CA, I felt like I was really getting into a good routine in terms of fitness and being productive in general. However, coming back earlier than I wanted was mainly due to external circumstances – W’s wedding – which is what I wanted to talk about today.
The first thing to note is that W is basically the first friend from our HS group to get married. He’s also probably the most well-off (or, at least his family is) and has always cared about having the “best” in terms of materialistic sense. I don’t say this him to judge him outright, but rather just to reinforce the point (as Atrain said) that “It’s all downhill in terms of wedding extravagance from here.”
The days leading up to the wedding, I wasn’t sure how to feel. I think I was mostly annoyed about having to come back earlier than I wanted along with just feeling anxious about the logistics of it all. I also didn’t care that much about seeing “old” friends since, I’ve always been of the opinion that, if I cared about them then I would be keeping in touch anyway (instead of relying on external circumstances to meet) as I already do with a small subset of them.
Anyway, when I started hanging out with the group the Friday before the wedding (KT, Atrain and his gf along with underwear), I began to feel more comfortable. At least with KT and underwear, it felt like these are people I would actually be down to hangout with in person, but due to COVID and other circumstances it felt difficult to find a time to meet - though we had tried a few times before. I think one measurement of how deep your relationship with an "old" friend was is the ability to quickly catch up to that level of comfort you once had in just an hour or two of seeing them.
Anyway, the day of the wedding was a bit hectic (had some issues with my suit and ended up buying a pair of cufflinks last minute) but I ended up making it just on time. The hall itself was extremely fancy as expected with beautiful white flowers adorned the tables in the crystal ballroom. The first event was the ceremony – it was obviously meant to be kind of sappy but I wasn't as touched as other people in the audience clearly were. It was also funny to contrast W’s vows (which were quite straightforward) with that of A’s (which were much more poetic). Maybe our core personalities really don’t change much after high school. Anyway, after the ceremony we just mingled a bit until dinner was ready – this is where I started to catch up with more folks from M, especially those I hadn’t seen in a long time (due to COVID) such as the twins. I also spoke with folks I also hadn’t seen in a long time but also was never really close with anyway, such as Root Vegetable and K.
The dinner itself looked expensive but the actual taste was kind of underwhelming. I feel like they waited way too long to serve each course and, by the time the main course arrived it was close to 9, so we were all starving. By a stroke of (unfortunate) luck, I ended up sitting next to V who is definitely someone I wouldn’t have ever dreamt of keeping in touch with. I did feel somewhat bad for him though, he seemed to sincerely want to re-connect with many of us. He also seemed more polite and down to earth but the sad reality is that, even if he had changed, it didn't seem like it was enough to overcome our past perception of him.
After dinner, the rest of the night was just followed by dancing along with an open bar. I guess we just did typical wedding stuff here – shots with the bride and groom, take some pictures, drag reluctant friends out on the dance floor etc. We ended the night by just hanging out in W’s penthouse suite (with a closer group of friends - maybe like 10 people or so) and were able to finally have some deeper conversations without shouting over the music. I also ended up ordering like $100 worth of Mcds for everyone at 2am because, why not?
So, that was basically the flow of the wedding. I wanted to try to document things in a bit of detail because I feel like it was an important milestone – the first big reunion with friends post-COVID. Of course, I plan to go into some individual thoughts how everyone was doing but I think it’s always nice to set the stage first.
But now for the real discussion – what did I think of everyone? I think my first cynical takeaway was just wondering if this was the last big event before we all drift apart (again). As I said earlier, I think I’ll always do my best to keep in touch with the small group I care about but, it just feels like there won’t be an opportunity to have such a big gathering again. People might just go on with their own lives, buy a house, have kids etc. Which is fine if that’s what they want (though I think it's more that they don’t have a strong sense of purpose and just end up doing whatever “society” wants – but I’ll write about that another time). But yeah, I just kind of wondered if it was all downhill from here in terms of friendship.
The other person I talked to a lot was Atrain and his gf. Though we talk pretty often online, this is the first time I think I had seen him in several years. I feel like he wasn’t taking care of his health that well (briefly: he got fat, like many others) but he had mentioned other health issues too. I also don’t mean this in a judgmental way but more in the sense that I do consider him a friend and was slightly concerned. The other big thing was meeting his gf, who actually seems really chill and down to earth. I discussed this with 3 later on, and we both noticed how similar (in terms of personality) they both were. However, I’m not sure if being that similar is really a good thing for a long-term relationship though they obviously seem to have fun and “get” each other on a deeper level.
The other person I caught up with was KT who I was also somewhat concerned about. You guessed it, he also got fat (or rather, fatter) but also seemed to just be really into drinking to the point of where it seemed like he had to get drunk in order to have fun. I feel like lives a lonely life down in ?? and hope that he’s able to move back to the city and have a better social life. That being said, he does seem like on of those guys who never quite moved on from the college-vibe especially in terms of the booze culture.
Who else…it was nice to see K&K again actually and I’m glad Potato actually ended up coming out for once. I was worried he’d just turn into a complete recluse during covid but he seemed fairly normal. I’m glad that we still feel this kind of connection to our high school group but, as mentioned before, was worried that connection will fade especially post-wedding. K1 also seems more mature, he got into crypto and programming and seems to be doing well so I’m happy for him. Even Potato seems to be pursuing his character design passionate which makes me happy – I’m always glad to see people re-evaluating their lives and pursuing things they are interested in even if it’s an unconventional path.
Of course, this wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention my thoughts on W. Like I’ve said to both Atrain and 3, I think that he’s happier with A than without her which is probably the best metric. That being said, I don’t think he’s ever thought that critically about his path in life – he only sees one path and success to him just means following that path which I’ve always thought is a shame because he is quite smart and talented otherwise. I feel the same way about him and A actually – it just seems like she was “good enough” to meet all his needs in partner but not sure how much they truly connect. Anyway, I hope that one day he is able to think critically about his life and, honestly, if he’s happy with it then that’s all good. I just don’t like to see people just following the motions as they go through life.
I also feel it’s relevant to mention if W really has any close friends. I remember when 3 and I went to visit him last summer, his gf seemed a bit condescending towards him and the fact that his friends were visiting (almost like she was belittling him). I hope he has a good group of friends and support network in the future especially because he is a very loyal person and someone you can depend on.
I guess that’s about all I wanted to say. It was a really fun time, though I doubt worth the steep price tag for the whole event. As for me, I took the week after the wedding to relax and continue hanging out with Atrain, 3 and others back in my hometown. This was also a nice time though eventually I need to return to reality but it was great that, for a brief moment, I could forget about work and just go back to simpler times.
In fact, as I write this, I’m on the train back to the 6ix, and it’s rather tranquil. It feels difficult to go back to “normal” working life after all this, even though it’s only been like 1-2 weeks. I think it’s almost time for some change in terms of career, hopefully the seeds I have planted will begin to bear fruit later this summer.
