I suppose not much interesting has happened these past 3 months since I've been home and maybe that's OK. I feel like after the last quarter, I needed some time to rest and relax though, admittedly, I don't feel as refreshed as I would have liked.
I started to play Elden Ring but realized it's more of an epic journey than even I could have imagined. While I commend FromSoft for making a game on such a grand scale, I am starting to question if there's better ways I could be spending my time. I feel like I'm more of a fan of games like Sekiro (which truly feel like you have to master a new skill), Nier (which had a story that really made you think and question the world) or Smash (has a competitive charm and forces you to think, plus it allows you to socialize with friends). Anyway, it's still a pretty fun time but it's hard to justify sinking 100+ hours into a game where I'm not really learning anything new.
Besides that, one important thing that happened over the "break" was reconnecting with J. It took some effort and I suspect 3 didn't even think I'd go through with it. Truth be told, I was a bit apprehensive at first but I'm really glad we did end up chatting again. Not sure if it'll mean anything in the grander scheme of things but it was nice to see that he was doing OK at least and hopefully we can meet up again in the summer.
It was also interesting (and sobering) to see how different the path he ended up taking in life was from the one he initially envisioned (ie. being a T14 lawyer). He definitely seems to have his own struggles - and I'm not just talking about right angle - but more his boxing journey and the disappointing conclusion it seemed to have came to. He also got into a bad headspace (which was noticeable from before) but I think that's a demon we have to all face at some point - I had to face it during my health issues a few years ago too.
Anyway, like me, he seems to come out alright on the other side of it all. And I'm happy for him. I think, overall, I respect people who are willing to put themselves out there and explore their passion/creativity. Life is too short to just be the same mundane tasks over and over again or walking a conventional path without being excited about it just because that's what "society" tells you to do. So, I'm glad to see that J is trying to pursue his creative passions, even if it seems like a long road ahead.
We also talked a great deal about right angle. From the impression I got, he seemed more guilty about letting her down rather than actually wanting to get back with her. I think he's just genuinely worried about her well-being and, maybe for good reason, as it seems like she got into quite a reclusive state lately. But the ultimate point is that he's not responsible for her happiness and, similar to D and myself, it seemed like she just started getting into new hobbies and he wasn't really interested in that kind of life (ie. streaming games). It didn't really seem like it was anyone's fault, sure, maybe J overreacted but I can understand why and it seems like if she was to keep pursuing that type of "work" it would have been inevitable.
The last thing I wanted to mention from my convo with him was just how much of an effect those middle school and high school years had on our lives. We're still thinking about those childhood times and how they shaped us today - I guess life would be kind of pointless if our past didn't affect our future though sometimes it feels like it's a bit too much. He mentioned a lot about how we "never change" and maybe it's true. Maybe our core personalities, the blueprint for who we will become, has already been set by the time we're in 8th grade or something. It's both beautiful and scary in a way. Though I would say it's probably more about shaping our personality than predicting our "success" but we'll see...
The point is that no one knows what life will hold though our core experiences will always shape how we experience things. I'm glad to reconnect with J and hope he continues to seek out his own path. Oh, another interesting thing was when he said he read the Quran and the Illaid - I think he's really thinking critical about what it all means (ie. the point of our existence) and I do respect that.
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