In a similar vein to previous years, I wanted to dive a bit deeper into my progress/thoughts on various aspects of my life. Maybe, just because I'm feeling quantitive, I'll give areas a rating like in 2019...
Fitness / Overall Health - 2.5/5
Without a doubt, I felt more healthy than last year. I was able to mostly get back into a regular gym schedule and start slowly climbing up to where I once was. However, due to a combination of work and perhaps a lack of discipline, I felt like my sleep schedule really suffered. In the previous 3 months, I was getting 5-6 hours of sleep regularly and, while I obviously survived, I feel like this will catch up with me in the long run.
That being said, at least there's a very clear metric of what I need to improve in 2022.
Mental Health - 4/5
Compared to 2019 and 2020, I did feel less stressed out mentally overall. I had come to terms with the pandemic and sort of adjusted my lifestyle. I suppose it's not so much the change in lifestyle that initially scared me but just the uncertainty of not knowing what COVID would bring. That being said, I think the main point in life is being adaptable and having the strength to adjust in unknown situations.
Creative Hobbies (Writing) - 3/5
A big accomplishment was finally finishing my HS story over the summer - a culmination of over 5 years of work and 70k words. However, it's still in a pretty disjointed state and I kind of dropped the ball on writing after the summer (when I published Gates). This is a regret since, even over the December break, I was hoping to make some progress. Though I feel somewhat justified in the sense that I was quite busy with work/school activities so it felt like a more hard constraint rather than a lack of motivation on my part.
Dating / Social - 3.5/5
As I alluded to in the previous post, I'm quite pleased with how I was able to put myself out there and start going on dates again. There was M, Msi, and S (who I actually quite smitten with when I first met). None of them really worked out, though it was likely for different reasons. In the case of M, she just seemed too insecure and I think she just wanted more commitment than I could reasonably give.
For Msi, she just wasn't that attractive though she did seem like a nice person - but we also seemed to have some fundamental differences in the kind of hobbies we like.
I thought S had real potential and she was probably the first person I had ever felt excited with in the past few years (though, maybe that's not as important as it sounds since I hadn't really been trying to date that actively). Anyway, she seemed to meet all the criteria (well-educated, well-read, cute etc.) but we seemed to just not be that compatible. I would have been open to a few more dates but actually she called it off first which kind of stung. However, I can understand where she was coming from and maybe I was just mistyping her ability to be "fake" for genuine interest. But at least it helped me realize what I find attractive in a partner.
In terms of friendships in general, I wouldn't say anything new happened except maintaining existing ones. In fact, I sometimes feel a bit lost in the sense of not having that one "close" friend to talk effortlessly about anything like I used to feel with Dez. While I was able to strength relationships with people like K, Fco and J (in SF) and re-connect with old friends like Kwong and 3, I still miss the role of someone like Dez in my life.
I was able to re-connect with her briefly this year and was glad to see she was (mostly) doing well but it just seems like she isn't as interested in maintaining a closer level of communication. I guess I'm OK with that overall since it seems like a more natural progression of our interests drifting apart rather than a specific argument we had or a "mistake" that one of us made.
Career / Academics - 4/5
When I looked at my transcript and saw the 41/45 units, I almost couldn't believe my eyes. The end of my grad school journey is almost here and it feels like a huge milestone. While I was hesitant of whether or not I could do it at first, I feel like it's just become part of my lifestyle now. But I am pretty certain now it was one of the best decisions I ever made - not only did I meet close friends (like C) but I also learned an enormous amount and it might even lead into new possible future paths (like AI research or a startup).
In some ways, it feels sad to think this journey is coming to an end but I suppose the exciting part of life is the ability to figure out what's next. But I'll talk about that more in the part of the blog post where I look towards the future.
Anyway, this past year was mostly about focusing on finishing up school and I feel like I definitely succeeded in that respect. I managed to complete 6 courses while juggling work and feel quite proud of myself for handling that. I feel fortunate to have met great mentors like J (who might even change my life in the future).
My actual job definitely took a backseat this year though I was able to accomplish some milestones. In general though, it's only the golden handcuffs keeping me there and I wouldn't say I'm really passionate about what I do anymore. Most of my close friends have left though there are still a few co-workers that I respect. In general though, things have become more political and less "fun" overall so hopefully there will be some kind of change on the horizon in 2022.
Overall
Overall, I'm quite pleased with how 2021 turned out. It wasn't as jarring at 2020 and I feel like I was able to adapt and make the best of pandemic life in terms of making strides in my career/academics along with meeting new people via dating. I'm still not sure what I want out of dating overall, I'll probably talk about that in the next post, but having new experiences is always a good thing.
I can't deny that sometimes I feel a bit lonely in the sense of not having any very close friends but that concern might be overblown. I certainly have friends I could ask in terms of an emergency and, of course, there's always family. But still, even if it's not logical, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge how I really feel.
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